tech
iPod Touch 4 Me
Apple is going to announce the iPod Touch 4 today. Here’s what I want from it:
1.) The same design as the iPhone 4. No more rounded-back crap.
2.) 3G support (hey, if the iPad can have it…)
3.) Digital Camera. I don’t care about it having Facetime, but every gadget blog is saying it will have it. If there’s only a front-facing camera, I will flip my shit.
4.) $100 cheaper. This one is about as unlikely at the 3G support, but it’s a wish list.
UPDATE: Eh, 1 out of 4. Oh well, the device looks nice even though I think it should have had the same sleek design as the iPhone 4.
UPDATE 2: I didn’t realize that the camera was shit, so knock it down to 0.5 out of 4. I went into an Apple store today and the current line of iPod Touches are plenty thin already. I wish they’d knock the price down on the current line, but it’s Apple so of course they won’t.
Steve Jobs Is Weird
I don’t hate Apple. I hate the Cult of Apple. Of course, zealotry in all its forms is annoying, but Apple actually weaves it into its marketing and image. I didn’t know “smugness” could test so well. Apple competes with PCs, but other competitors–Coke and Pepsi, Marvel and DC, PlayStation and XBox–I don’t see a complete condescension to the consumers who prefer one over the other. Sure, there was the Pepsi Challenge, but Pepsi didn’t go out, show someone drinking a coke, and then vomiting. Of course, that’s down to personal preference whereas technology can be scientifically measured and analyzed to achieve objective results.
But Apple marketing isn’t about science. It’s about making sure its users seem cool. Which is why the iPad is a “magical and revolutionary” device. While I’ve had no problem making fun of that slogan, I’ve held off on commenting on the machine itself until I actually tried it out. I played with one a few weeks ago at Best Buy. My conclusion: it’s a very neat toy. To call it a giant iPod Touch is pretty much on the money. And that’s fine. I’m planning to buy the new model of the iPod Touch whenever it comes out later this year. But I think Cory Doctorow of BoingBoing put it best when he said of the iPad: “Incumbents make bad revolutionaries.”
When Do We Get Better Twitter?
Some have revolted against Twitter on premise alone: that microblogging is stupid and it promotes the innaties of our lives and turns us into narcisstic douchebags.
That is a valid (albeit highly cynical and narrow-minded) viewpoint.
Of course, I like to view Twitter as a tool. It can be used for mundane ramblings, but it can also be used for promotion of one’s content, important stories, and as a quick way of sharing ideas. I also like that it’s almost a challenge and encourages the brevity of wit.
And as to the point about it being narcisstic and mundane, I would like to point out that we have always been the stars of our own lives and just as we would accept narration in a book or a film, we shouldn’t disdain ourselves so heavily that we think our lives aren’t worth mentioning. In a weird way, I think the Internet encourages all of us to scream our voices due to its high population. We need the world to know we existed even if it was only in a minor fashion. Does this encourage us to remain comfortable in uneventful lives by inflating the banal into the adventurous? Perhaps. But it could also function as a means of realization and spur people on to actual adventures. Like most things, it all depends on the user.
Some cynics may find such explanations laughable. We can tell people that they’re not that interesting and that we don’t care that they’re having a ham sandwich but who is forced to read or use Twitter? Why should anyone’s private hobby, as long as it doesn’t actively cause harm to another, get under your skin?
“It’s part of the downfall of society!” you cry. You know, we’ve made it through public executions and using black people as property. I think we’ll survive microblogging.
What I want to survive is inferior microblogging. MySpace is to Facebook as Twitter is to whatever’s next and I want whatever’s next to be now. Here’s a list of ten obvious features that Twitter could easily implement and so far they’ve managed to do about one and a half. Is auto-fill that difficult? Embedded links are just impossible? I understand that there’s a consideration to be able to use it via your phone but sometimes you don’t get to do everything through your phone. It sucks but it happens.
And I know there are desktop clients that have some of these features but it’s why should I have to download software when Twitter should have done all this crap yesterday. I’m not looking for a massive overhaul–I’m looking for obvious features that they won’t implement either due to lack of funds (which is hard to believe given the amount of capital they’ve received and attention they currently hold) or due to lack of expertise. Or maybe they’re just too busy fighting with the goddamned Fail-whale and micro issues to actually make the service better and are simply struggling to make it function. They’ve come up with a good idea and they’re failing at the execution. And that means someone’s going to take their idea and do it better and I’m waiting for that site to not only come along but for everyone on Twitter to pack up their shit and move to the better site.
In the meantime, I’ll just have to occasionally bitch about it in 140 characters or less.
Gizmodon’t
I hate it when popular sites decide to be unprofessional douchebags for no reason. The Internet, for all its strengths, still has to prove itself to the the old guard and that requires professionalism. Bloggers get the bitchslap as amateur journalists even though they may do as much work if not more so than any writer for a print or television magazine. It’s not fair, but so it goes. The new kid at the table has to prove he’s mature enough to sit at the table, or else he goes back to the kiddie table.
Popular gadget Gizmodo needs to go back to the kiddie table. Their behavior continues to be unacceptable for such a high-traffic site. Back in November, Editor-in-Chief Briam Lam made the world’s most callous swag/press package unboxing as he tossed around Halo 3 merch. It’s his stuff and he’s free to do with it what he wants but why not use half-a-brain and realize that you’re already making people envious so why add insult to injury? I’m not sure whether or not Lam is a dick or just incompetent but when he made a video responding to people who called him on his behavior, he continued to be a dick/incompetent by giving away the ending to Halo 3 (at this point, Halo 3 had been out for a day). You just don’t act that smug towards your readership. It’s poor judgment.
But apparently Gizmodo has more than enough poor judgment as seen by what they thought was a totally hilarious prank. You see, at the Consumer Electronics Show this past week, they decided to turn off TVs there using a remote control! Isn’t that funny! You can almost hear the adolescent giggling. I’m not against pranks or irreverence. But aside from this prank being unfunny, it’s also a slap in the face to every electronics manufacturer there. They thought it was mostly harmless but if you’re trying to market your product, having it turn off suddenly and inexplicably makes it look unreliable. Again, with Gizmodo, you don’t know if they’re just being dicks or if they’re really that stupid.
The final nail in the coffin is Brian Lam’s comment on the story over at Valleywag (it’s the seventh post down). Rather than apologize and say “Yeah, we probably shouldn’t have done that and we want folks to know that we’re taking full responsibility and encouraging CES to not judge other sites based on our behavior,” Lam basically says that silly pranks are just how they roll and that they got a really good interview with Bill Gates so step-off!
Gizmodo has been banned from CES (and rightly so) but they need to be banned from the Internet. I like most of Gawker Media’s websites (I visit Kotaku multiple times a day), but either they need to change out their staff (especially Lam) or drop the site. There’s just no room for “professional bloggers” like these numbskulls ruining it for everyone else.
Pod-dammit.
I’m a fan of the iPod. Some of my more tech savvy friends may decry my choice of MP3 player but they don’t read this blog so fuck them!
Do I seem in a foul mood? If so, here’s why: My faithful 4th Generation iPod died on me back at the beginning of August. I’d had it since Summer of 2004 and the poor little baby just couldn’t hold a charge any more. Sure, it would charge, but when you watch your entire battery diminish after just half an hour of use, that battery ain’t working like it’s supposed to. Now I knew that a new iPod was on the horizon. The problem was that it was on the horizon since May 2006. I thought it would be a pretty sweet graduation present. I thought wrong (I got my laptop instead, which was still awesome; thanks, Mom!). And so eventually all the rumors became just that: rumors. Sure, the iPhone came out and there was an argument to be made that it was just a matter of time before Apple made an iPhone without the Phone. But then there was the counter-argument that Apple didn’t want a new iPod cutting into the iPhone sales. That may be a very shitty argument, but it’s what I heard.
But then a couple weeks ago, Apple made an announcement that they would be having a little press conference on September 5th. And all the gadget sites said it would be for new iPods. What specifically, no one knew, but it would be for new iPods.
So I’m checking Engadget’s liveblog about the event.
New ringtones for iPhone. Don’t have an iPhone–don’t care.
New iPod Nano. Looks crappy–don’t care.
New prices for what is now dubbed the “iPod Classic”. The 80GB model is now $250, which is what I paid less than a month ago for the 30GB model. Fuck me.
But Mr. Jobs isn’t done taking a torque wrench to the nipples of my soul. He’s got the “iPod Touch”. Like the iPhone, but thinner. And an iPod. And it has Wifi. And a Safari web-browser. And YouTube. And an iTunes store. And 22 hours audio and 5 hours of video. And if you get near a Starbucks, and that Starbucks happens to be playing a song you like, the option will come up to download that song. Oh wait, that last feature sucks. However, I did learn that Starbucks opens seven stores every day and all of them sell overpriced, crappy-tasting beverages. Thanks, Starbucks.
My only solace is that it costs $299 for the 8GB model and $399 for the 16GB model. If you have videos…that’s not great.
But apparently, if you got an 8GB iPhone, you’re gonna taste defeat as well because they’re slashing the price down to $399 because Steve thinks it will make a great stocking stuffer. And if you’re stockings are made out of gold and your name’s written out in diamonds, then yes, it will make a nice stocking stuffer.
Oh, and still no Beatles catalog. Well, at least my brother will finally be getting a new iPod so good for him.
I’m an iPod, I’m a Zune
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DQg0JNaKeVM]
Above is a test ad for a parody of Apple’s “Get a Mac” ads featuring Justin Long as a Mac and John Hodgman as a PC. If you watch the ad, you’ll see that the argument is that getting cool songs is really simple with a Zune, but not with an iPod.
The ad leaves out these fun little tidbits which I will share with you now:
1) That song your friend just shot you? It’s only good for three plays. After that, you have to buy it from the Zune store.
2) The ad seems to point out that you have to give out your credit card info to Apple to buy songs. And what do you use to buy music from the Zune store? Good faith? I.O.U.s? No, you pay $14.99 a month and don’t really get to own your music, but rather, just rent it. Also, forget about playing any song you got off of iTunes on your Zune.
3) Now subscription plans really depend on how much music you have and how much of it you plan to listen to and for how long. Personally, I like owning things I enjoy. If I don’t like a song, I can just get rid of it. Now lets say you have 20,000 songs. Well clearly, you’re not going to drop 20,000 to re-buy all of them so a subscription plan seems like a good idea. But I think it’s dumb to spend $150.00 a year on music that will never really be yours. Also, what happens in the even that the store flops? What happens if you miss a payment? Bye-bye music!
While it’s cool that Microsoft is just coming out an acknowledging Apple as its main competitor in the MP3 Player market, the dishonesty of this ad really irks me and people should know that the Zune is a player that may transfer songs wirelessly, but there are still a lot of strings attached.
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