I Disagree, Mr. Ebert
Roger Ebert laid out a few rules a couple days ago on how movie critics should behave. While I quibble with some of his rules (”Trailers”) and others are painfully obvious (”Provide a sense of experience”) and a couple are just tedious, (”Do the Math”, “Sit Down, Shut Up, and Pay Attention!”), the one I take issue with is the following:
No autographs! If for example, you are at a press event and interviewing a star, the stars are old hands at this and will think of you as a species of bottom-feeder if you ask them for an autograph. Your fellow professionals will try to pretend they are in another room, and gossip scornfully about you in the buffet line. It is bad enough they have to make a meal out of more of this god-damned shrimp without their being being associated with you. Either you are moronic enough to desire an autograph after having had the opportunity of speaking with the star in person, or you hope to sell it on eBay. It is doubly reprehensible if a star asks you for your name, and you reply, “Just your signature will be terrific!”
Of all the stars I’ve asked to autograph something for me, none have ever rolled their eyes or had other professionals in my room openly disdain me for it (and if there are those who do, so be it; that’s their issue). I don’t think there’s anything moronic about wanting an autograph just because I spoke with a star. Yes, interviews are neat but I accept that A) I’m not a great interviewer and B) the star will probably have heard the question before. Furthermore, I don’t ask for autographs from every star I meet. If there’s a special movie or TV show, I will ask an autograph for that because I want that star to know that I appreciated that work and I’m appreciated them in it. If they take affront to that, then again, it’s their issue and not mine. Being a detached critic if all well and good but if you can’t be a fan from time to time, then you may need to check your love of cinema.
Thus, my autographed copy of The Graduate, signed by Dustin Hoffman, is one of the priceless things I own and I treasure it greatly. It’s not only my favorite film of all-time signed by one of my favorite actors of all-time, but it’s a memento from my very first junket. And when I’ve managed to grab an autograph for my brother or a friend, it’s me taking the opportunity through my work to show my love. If that means I don’t meet Roger Ebert’s level of professionalism, so be it. I know my code of ethics for my job and it’s never let me down.
While I know this news is a couple of days old, I felt I had to share some thoughts about Diablo Cody’s recent missive where she fires back at all those who have retaliated against her for being successful. It’s a very strong statement and one I encourage you to read.
A t-shirt featuring the image to the right is currently available at BustedTees.com. If you can’t spot the reference, that’s okay. If you can, well, there’s plenty of shame to go around and I’ll take a little over here. For those that still have their dignity, it’s a reference to the 1998 Jennifer Love Hewitt film Can’t Hardly Wait. Loveburger is the name of the lame band no one wants to listen to at the party. Add to this that the film is getting a 10-year anniversary edition DVD this fall and I can’t help but wonder: When did Can’t Hardly Wait becomes a 90s classic? It’s a cute little film but there’s nothing that memorable about it.
