GoldbergBlog

World Cup, My Balls

Everyone seems to be going nuts that the US just scored a last minute goal against Algeria in the World Cup and will advance to the next round.  For the few people in America who follow soccer when it’s not the World Cup, that’s a thrill.  They know the players, they know the game inside and out, and they appreciate the skill involved.  Everyone else saw a ball go in a net, knew we scored a point, and that we won.  USA!  USA!  USA!

Unless we win the World Cup, no one is going to care by the end of the summer.  Soccer will remain a second-tier sport.  Here’s a question for everyone who is going apeshit over the World Cup right now: how many Major League Soccer games have you attended?  Hell, here’s an easier one: how many soccer games, MLS or other, have you watched in the past four years?  If so, was it because nothing else was on television?

We don’t care about soccer.  That’s why we call it “soccer” and every other country refers to it as “futbol” or “football”.  Then they ridicule “American Football” and we don’t give a shit because we like it more than stupid soccer where nothing happens.  Soccer is a slow sport with hardly any drama.  The field is gigantic, you never know when the game is going to end, and it feels like a game takes an eternity as a result.  But other countries love it because it requires a ball and nothing else so they grow up playing the sport.  If you’re an impoverished nation, it’s really the only sport you can play.

So think about Algeria.  Soccer is arguably their most beloved sport.  They were eliminated today by a country that doesn’t really give a shit when it’s not the World Cup.  I hope the USA goes all the way because maybe we’ll care about the game after the tournament is over.  If we don’t win, we’ll behave like spoiled children and act like we didn’t really care anyway.  And the truth is, we don’t.  I hope a country who cares about soccer wins.  In the meantime, US fans who are really into the sport once every four years can blow their vuvuzela’s out their ass (it will still sound the same).

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