GoldbergBlog

You’re going to read this and think I care waaaaaay too much about the Academy Awards. And to that I’ll simply respond: “A movie critic, caring about which films are recognized for the highest honor a movie can receive? You’re right! That is ridiculous!” Yes, I know that the Academy mostly gets it wrong and it will continue to get it wrong and that’s just how it plays out. I might as well get mad at the mainstream media for making our political process one of personality rather than policy. But you won’t deny that it’s fun to get angry and you won’t deny that the award does matter because it helps sell the film. Some of these films don’t deserve to be sold. They deserved to be fucked into oblivion. There’s one in particular that deserves to be fucked into oblivion followed by the abyss. I think I make it fairly clear which one that is.

I’m also betting that there will be an Oscar ceremony this year. I think Hollywood vanity surpasses all and with the recent successful negotiation with the DGA, I think the writers are going to get their deal in the next few weeks and we’ll all see Jon Stewart hosting the awards and nobody laughing because he’s holding up a mirror to the ridiculousness of the pageant.

One final note: I’ve also included how many I got right from the major categories and you can double-check me from the article I wrote back on the 12^th of this month.

Performance by an actor in a leading role
George Clooney in “Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.)
Daniel Day-Lewis in “There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax)
Johnny Depp in “Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street” (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount)
Tommy Lee Jones in “In the Valley of Elah” (Warner Independent)
Viggo Mortensen in “Eastern Promises” (Focus Features)

Look, I’m happy with the Vig getting any nomination for anything. He’s a tremendous actor who deserves every bit of acclaim he receives. I really wish the same could be said for Johnny Depp. I love the guy but Sweeney Todd is not his film. It’s Helena Bonham Carter’s and quite frankly, I would have liked to see a more surprising actor in the role. As for Tommy Lee Jones, his massive ear lobes deserve the nomination and in a world where he would actually win this award, they should give the acceptance speech. I’m sure Emile Hirsch is very happy with the “Fuck You” from the Academy. Then again, I’m sure everyone from Into the Wild is happy this morning.

But it’s all a moot point. Day-Lewis is gonna win and so I can sleep easy on this one.

I called 3 out of 5

Performance by an actor in a supporting role
Casey Affleck in “The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” (Warner Bros.)
Javier Bardem in “No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage)
Philip Seymour Hoffman in “Charlie Wilson’s War” (Universal)
Hal Holbrook in “Into the Wild” (Paramount Vantage and River Road Entertainment)
Tom Wilkinson in “Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.)
You would think that this was between Affleck and Bardem, but you’d be wrong. This award is Hal Holbrook’s because this category always goes to Hollywood veterans. It’s just an unwritten rule. Look at the winners from the past ten years and you’ll see I’m right.

I called 4 out of 5

Performance by an actress in a leading role
Cate Blanchett in “Elizabeth: The Golden Age” (Universal)
Julie Christie in “Away from Her” (Lionsgate)
Marion Cotillard in “La Vie en Rose” (Picturehouse)
Laura Linney in “The Savages” (Fox Searchlight)
Ellen Page in “Juno” (Fox Searchlight)

Cate Blanchett is a wonderful woman and a tremendous actress and no one should award Elizabeth: The Golden Age for anything other than costumes and art direction. She’s replaying her character and it’s not her fault. If they gave Elizabeth a new conflict rather than just repeating the one she had in the first film, then this nomination would be warranted. As it stands, they just insulted Amy Adams (Enchanted) and Helena Bonham Carter (Sweeney Todd).

Again, it’s a moot point because it’s between Christie and Cotillard with the edge to Christie because she’s the Hollywood vet and she played someone with Alzheimer’s! The bravery!

I called 3 out of 5

Performance by an actress in a supporting role
Cate Blanchett in “I’m Not There” (The Weinstein Company)
Ruby Dee in “American Gangster” (Universal)
Saoirse Ronan in “Atonement” (Focus Features)
Amy Ryan in “Gone Baby Gone” (Miramax)
Tilda Swinton in “Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.)

In my burning hatred for Atonement, I forgot about Saoirse Ronan. After the cinematography of the Dunkirk scene, she is the best part of Atonement. But she’s the dark horse and I think Blanchett’s going to get her second Best Supporting Actress win for her work in I’m Not There. That’s fine by me.

I called 3 out of 5

Adapted screenplay
“Atonement” (Focus Features), Screenplay by Christopher Hampton
“Away from Her” (Lionsgate), Written by Sarah Polley
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Screenplay by Ronald Harwood
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Written for the screen by Joel Coen & Ethan Coen
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Written for the screen by Paul Thomas Anderson

Please, for the love of Christ, don’t let Atonement win this. It’s so awful. The film fails because it’s a shitty adaptation. Thankfully, I think the Coens are going to win this category. Maybe even Diving Bell. But who am I kidding: if the past few months have taught us anything, it’s that Hollywood hates writers. Give it to Atonement.

Original screenplay
“Juno” (Fox Searchlight), Written by Diablo Cody
“Lars and the Real Girl” (MGM), Written by Nancy Oliver
“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.), Written by Tony Gilroy
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney), Screenplay by Brad Bird; Story by Jan Pinkava, Jim Capobianco, Brad Bird
“The Savages” (Fox Searchlight), Written by Tamara Jenkins

Sadly, this will probably go to Tony Gilroy. It’s not that Michael Clayton is a bad script, but Juno’s the one that should get it. And I would love to see Diablo Cody do a couple kung-fu kicks up on that stage.

Achievement in directing
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn), Julian Schnabel
“Juno” (Fox Searchlight), Jason Reitman
“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.), Tony Gilroy
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage), Joel Coen and Ethan Coen
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax), Paul Thomas Anderson

This…this isn’t that bad. Sure, I don’t think Reitman should get the nomination and I don’t think Gilroy’s direction was anything amazing. I also wasn’t expecting the complete shunning of Into the Wild (it must not have saved the excess oil from a can of tuna). But thankfully, this award will go to either Schnabel or the Coens. And perhaps if those two cancel each other out, then Anderson gets it, which is equally great.

I called 3 out of 5

Best motion picture of the year
“Atonement” (Focus Features) A Working Title Production: Tim Bevan, Eric Fellner and Paul Webster, Producers
“Juno” (Fox Searchlight) A Dancing Elk Pictures, LLC Production: Lianne Halfon, Mason Novick and Russell Smith, Producers
“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.) A Clayton Productions, LLC Production: Sydney Pollack, Jennifer Fox and Kerry Orent, Producers
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) A Scott Rudin/Mike Zoss Production: Scott Rudin, Ethan Coen and Joel Coen, Producers
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax) A JoAnne Sellar/Ghoulardi Film Company Production: JoAnne Sellar, Paul Thomas Anderson and Daniel Lupi, Producers

Everyone laughed when I said if I would flip out when Atonement got nominated for Best Picture. “Oh, it doesn’t have a chance! Nevermind the Golden Globe win and the BAFTA nominations and the absolutely misguided critical acclaim! That’s a slot that will be filled by a good film like Into the Wild! Now get off the edge of that tall building!” Whose laughing now, bitches? Oh, wait: NO ONE.

I predicted 5 OUT OF 5. EAT IT.

Best documentary feature
“No End in Sight” (Magnolia Pictures) A Representational Pictures Production: Charles Ferguson and Audrey Marrs
“Operation Homecoming: Writing the Wartime Experience” (The Documentary Group) A Documentary Group Production: Richard E. Robbins
“Sicko” (Lionsgate and The Weinstein Company) A Dog Eat Dog Films Production: Michael Moore and Meghan O’Hara
“Taxi to the Dark Side” (THINKFilm) An X-Ray Production: Alex Gibney and Eva Orner
“War/Dance” (THINKFilm) A Shine Global and Fine Films Production: Andrea Nix Fine and Sean Fine

Michael Moore won’t get it because he’s Michael Moore and fuck the fact that his film is a non-partisan examination of one of the most important issues facing our country today. Maybe No End in Sight will get it. I just don’t know. My gut tells me War/Dance, but my gut is also very hungry.

Best animated feature film of the year
“Persepolis” (Sony Pictures Classics): Marjane Satrapi and Vincent Paronnaud
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney): Brad Bird
“Surf’s Up” (Sony Pictures Releasing): Ash Brannon and Chris Buck

Thank God, Shrek the Third wasn’t nominated. If more people had actually seen Persepolis, it would have a better-shot. As it stands, Brad Bird gets his second Oscar win for Ratatouille. He is legend.

Achievement in art direction
“American Gangster” (Universal): Art Direction: Arthur Max; Set Decoration: Beth A. Rubino
“Atonement” (Focus Features): Art Direction: Sarah Greenwood; Set Decoration: Katie Spencer
“The Golden Compass” (New Line in association with Ingenious Film Partners): Art Direction: Dennis Gassner; Set Decoration: Anna Pinnock
“Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street” (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount): Art Direction: Dante Ferretti; Set Decoration: Francesca Lo Schiavo
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Art Direction: Jack Fisk; Set Decoration: Jim Erickson

Every time I see a nomination for Atonement, I die a little inside. I may well be a corpse by the end of this. They’ll find me and wonder how I died so let me tell them now: ATONEMENT KILLED ME. Give this to The Golden Compass. Shitty film, but imaginative design. Couldn’t possibly nominate I’m Not There. Noooo. Didn’t you hear? The only great thing about that film is Cate Blanchett. No one told Todd Haynes that biopics have to be boring, predictable shit.

Achievement in cinematography
“The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford” (Warner Bros.): Roger Deakins
“Atonement” (Focus Features): Seamus McGarvey
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn): Janusz Kaminski
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Roger Deakins
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Robert Elswit

Please give this to The Assassination of Jesse James. Please give this to The Assassination of Jesse James. Or No Country for Old Men. Or any nominee that’s not Atonement. And that’s just not the Atonement-hatred speaking. Every other nominee is beautifully shot. Atonement has Dunkirk and that’s it. Oh, the award is going to Atonement you say? Beautiful. Excuse me while I put this gun in my mouth.

Achievement in costume design
“Across the Universe” (Sony Pictures Releasing) Albert Wolsky
“Atonement” (Focus Features) Jacqueline Durran
“Elizabeth: The Golden Age” (Universal) Alexandra Byrne
“La Vie en Rose” (Picturehouse) Marit Allen
“Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street” (DreamWorks and Warner Bros., Distributed by DreamWorks/Paramount) Colleen Atwood

I know that Atonement’s going to get it. It has period costumes and pretty dresses. Of the nominees, I would like to see Sweeney Todd get the win because I think it has a better variety of costumes and they’re clearly designed with Burton’s photography in mind. Again, I think it’s all a slap in the face to I’m Not There.

Best documentary short subject
“Freeheld” A Lieutenant Films Production: Cynthia Wade and Vanessa Roth
“La Corona (The Crown)” A Runaway Films and Vega Films Production: Amanda Micheli and Isabel Vega
“Salim Baba” A Ropa Vieja Films and Paradox Smoke Production: Tim Sternberg and Francisco Bello
“Sari’s Mother” (Cinema Guild) A Daylight Factory Production: James Longley

Let’s say, Sari’s Mother. She’s good people.

Achievement in film editing
“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal): Christopher Rouse
“The Diving Bell and the Butterfly” (Miramax/Pathé Renn): Juliette Welfling
“Into the Wild” (Paramount Vantage and River Road Entertainment): Jay Cassidy
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage) Roderick Jaynes
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Dylan Tichenor

All good. I’d like Diving Bell to win it since the editing is such an important part of telling its story.

Best foreign language film of the year
“Beaufort” Israel
“The Counterfeiters” Austria
“Katyn” Poland
“Mongol” Kazakhstan
“12” Russia

Did you know that the foreign language nominees are completely fucked and that they’re now having to change the rules? That explains this category.

Achievement in makeup
“La Vie en Rose” (Picturehouse) Didier Lavergne and Jan Archibald
“Norbit” (DreamWorks, Distributed by Paramount): Rick Baker and Kazuhiro Tsuji
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (Walt Disney): Ve Neill and Martin Samuel

Please, please, please let Norbit win. I want to refer to it as the Oscar-winning Norbit. Please, God. Please let it win.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original score)
“Atonement” (Focus Features) Dario Marianelli
“The Kite Runner” (DreamWorks, Sidney Kimmel Entertainment and Participant Productions, Distributed by Paramount Classics): Alberto Iglesias
“Michael Clayton” (Warner Bros.) James Newton Howard
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney) Michael Giacchino
“3:10 to Yuma” (Lionsgate) Marco Beltrami

So not Nick Cave & Warren Ellis for The Assassination of Jesse James.
So not Johnny Greenwood for There Will Be Blood.

Hey Academy: go unfuck your ears.

Achievement in music written for motion pictures (Original song)
“Falling Slowly” from “Once” (Fox Searchlight) Music and Lyric by Glen Hansard and: Marketa Irglova
“Happy Working Song” from “Enchanted” (Walt Disney): Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz
“Raise It Up” from “August Rush” (Warner Bros.): Nominees to be determined
“So Close” from “Enchanted” (Walt Disney): Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz
“That’s How You Know” from “Enchanted” (Walt Disney): Music by Alan Menken; Lyric by Stephen Schwartz

Do the same people who nominate the scores nominate the songs? Because they did a good job with the songs.

Best animated short film
“I Met the Walrus” A Kids & Explosions Production: Josh Raskin
“Madame Tutli-Putli” (National Film Board of Canada) A National Film Board of Canada Production Chris Lavis and Maciek Szczerbowski

“Même Les Pigeons Vont au Paradis (Even Pigeons Go to Heaven)” (Premium Films) A BUF Compagnie Production Samuel Tourneux and Simon Vanesse
“Moya Lyubov (My Love)” (Channel One Russia) A Dago-Film Studio, Channel One Russia and Dentsu Tec Production Alexander Petrov
“Peter & the Wolf” (BreakThru Films) A BreakThru Films/Se-ma-for Studios Production Suzie Templeton and Hugh Welchman

I Met a Walrus. If I have to explain why, then you just don’t get it.

Best live action short film
“At Night” A Zentropa Entertainments 10 Production: Christian E. Christiansen and Louise Vesth
“Il Supplente (The Substitute)” (Sky Cinema Italia) A Frame by Frame Italia Production: Andrea Jublin
“Le Mozart des Pickpockets (The Mozart of Pickpockets)” (Premium Films) A Karé Production: Philippe Pollet-Villard
“Tanghi Argentini” (Premium Films) An Another Dimension of an Idea Production: Guido Thys and Anja Daelemans
“The Tonto Woman” A Knucklehead, Little Mo and Rose Hackney Barber Production: Daniel Barber and Matthew Brown

Tanghi Argentini. It’s the upset everyone will be talking about the next morning.

Achievement in sound editing
“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal): Karen Baker Landers and Per Hallberg
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Skip Lievsay
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney): Randy Thom and Michael Silvers
“There Will Be Blood” (Paramount Vantage and Miramax): Matthew Wood
“Transformers” (DreamWorks and Paramount in association with Hasbro): Ethan Van der Ryn and Mike Hopkins

Okay, per my limited understanding, this category is basically who had the most original or most aesthetically pleasing sound effects. In that case, I would give it to Transformers because you have to admit they did some incredible and important work with robots in disguise. But these are all great films. I would give the edge to Ratatouille if only for Remy’s run through the walls of Paris.

Achievement in sound mixing
“The Bourne Ultimatum” (Universal) Scott Millan, David Parker and Kirk Francis
“No Country for Old Men” (Miramax and Paramount Vantage): Skip Lievsay, Craig Berkey, Greg Orloff and Peter Kurland
“Ratatouille” (Walt Disney): Randy Thom, Michael Semanick and Doc Kane
“3:10 to Yuma” (Lionsgate): Paul Massey, David Giammarco and Jim Stuebe
“Transformers” (DreamWorks and Paramount in association with Hasbro): Kevin O’Connell, Greg P. Russell and Peter J. Devlin

Now this category is for how you make all the sound come together: music, sound effects, audio, everything. Again, I like Transformers but it will probably go to Ratatouille. I’m not really emotionally invested in either of these categories. Sorry, audiophiles.

Achievement in visual effects
“The Golden Compass” (New Line in association with Ingenious Film Partners): Michael Fink, Bill Westenhofer, Ben Morris and Trevor Wood
“Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End” (Walt Disney): John Knoll, Hal Hickel, Charles Gibson and John Frazier
“Transformers” (DreamWorks and Paramount in association with Hasbro): Scott Farrar, Scott Benza, Russell Earl and John Frazier

It’s gonna be Transformers. Pirates already has its Oscars and The Golden Compass is shit.

Tags: brilliant, movies, stupid //