GoldbergBlog

 

So after months upon months of speculation and innuendo, something real finally happened tonight. Barack Obama won 38% of the vote and Mike Huckabee won 34% of the vote. Before we talk about these two men, let’s talk about everybody else.Words cannot express how happy I am that Hillary Clinton came in third with 29%. I believe she’s a sell-out and I know that she can’t beat anyone in the Republican field. How unlikable do you have to be to have people say, “You know, Huckabee is a bat-shit insane theocratic fascist who thinks that women should be subservient to men and his son tortured a dog to death…but that Hillary is so darn unlikable.” It’s not because she’s a woman, but because she’s pure politics and everyone can see it. No one wants to see how the sausage is made and she comes out drenched in the blood of various animals.

I am also happy that Rudy “9/11″ Giuliani got his ass handed to him by Ron Paul of all people. Paul only got 10% of the vote but that’s pretty impressive for a guy who disagrees with the rest of the Republican nominees on just about everything and has his support rooted mostly through an online following and not the attention of the main-stream media. I don’t agree with Paul’s politics but I like what he represents both in terms of the Republican party and the power of the Internet to combat the MSM.

The sad news is that Senator Dodd is done. He didn’t just lose; he lost big. But what does he do? Does he pretend like it didn’t matter? Does he pretend like it’s not over and that he’s gonna kick ass in New Hampshire and South Carolina and boy, then you’ll see! No, he promises to keep fighting against telecom amnesty. As Jane Hamsher said over at FireDogLake, he’s a real class act.

But as to tonight’s two stars, I am both pleased and utterly horrified. I’ve already stated why I think Obama is amazing. And if you still disagree, I encourage you to watch his victory speech from tonight. George W. Bush has been poisoning the country for the past seven years. Barack Obama is the cure.

Then there’s Mike Huckabee, a man I’ve consciously refused to discuss because the thought of him being a serious contender for the Presidency of the United States of America disturbs me to no end. How disturbing? If Mike Huckabee was elected President, I would move to England. Canada would not be far enough. I know it sounds funny and we all have a good laugh at that joke, but I’m completely serious. If on November 4th, Mike Huckabee turns out to be the President-Elect, then on November 5th, I’m hunting to find a job in England and I will not stop until I have one. I don’t care if it pays less than where I’m working here in the U.S. I don’t want to live in a theocracy, especially one where the government holds me responsible for killing their lord and savior.

“Oh, Matt,” I hear you say. “Stop being ridiculous,” I am not being ridiculous. This is ridiculous:

Darwinism is not an established fact.

Re-framing the War on Terror as a religious war and then claiming to have a theology degree when you don’t (yes, it’s scarier because you’re pretend to know more about theology than you actually do).

Thinking gay marriage will lead to the downfall of civilization.

Believing that Guantanamo is “too nice”.

Assuming that the Ten Commandments are the basis for our laws.

Pretending to take the high-road by not showing a negative political ad, then showing that ad to reporters so they can describe the ad for free and then say what a nice guy you are for not showing said ad.

Writing a book that equates environmentalists with pornographers, homosexuality with necrophilia and pedophilia, saying that people with AIDS should be quarantined (in 1992), and that a wife should be subservient to her husband.

I found those gems in about half an hour. So maybe now when I say, “I’m moving to England if Huckabee is elected President,” you’ll say, “Do you need a roommate?” (to which I will respond, “No, but I’ll need a flatmate,)

But at this point, you can’t count anyone out. This win in Iowa is a big step for Obama and I can only hope that this momentum will carry him through to the nomination. But I never underestimate the Democrats ability to lose. So on Tuesday when New Hampshire votes, I’ll be once again holding my breath and praying that Hillary does horribly. I’ll also be hoping that the people of New Hampshire pick a candidate who has slightly more scruples than paying himself to be his own political consultant.

Tags: politics //