GoldbergBlog

Vote Tancredo or Get Murdered By Immigrants

Thank God for Tom Tancredo. I was getting depressed at the thought of Hillary Clinton winning the Democratic nomination and the support for Ron Paul who is only successful because the Republican field is so awful and in a world of unprincipled schmucks who want to be Bush III, his ridiculous principles are appealing (To note: I don’t think Ron Paul is a bad guy; I just think he would make a bad president although he couldn’t be any worse than our current one; I can’t say that about Rudy Guiliani). But along comes Tom Tancredo and this awe-inspiring political ad:

I couldn’t make this up. Well, I could, but it would be an exaggerated parody. But Tancredo has no time for subtlety and innuendo. The only thing I know about Tancredo is that he hates fucking immigrants. He hates immigrants more than AIDS, cancer, and Taco Bell combined.

It’s a strategy that hasn’t really caught on as he’s still serving as window dressing to the first and second-tier candidates. So the question is how to co-opt his opponents’ strategy of trying to win by scaring the American public shitless while still showing that he hates immigrants? This ad shows how it’s done. For you see, immigrants just aren’t filthy Mexicans stealing our jobs. They’re also crazy Jihadists with hooded sweatshirts and backpacks. If you see a guy in a hoodie and he sits on a bench and sets his bag down beside him RUN FOR YOUR LIFE.

…before it’s too late. I’ve never been threatened by a political ad point blank. Thank you, Tom Tancredo. You have proven yourself batshit insane enough to run a country. Not our country. That requires a deft hand of insanity. But I’m sure there are plenty of non-western countries in turmoil that would be happy to have you. And hey, if you go there, you won’t have to worry about Mexicans.

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