GoldbergBlog

I’m a fan of the iPod. Some of my more tech savvy friends may decry my choice of MP3 player but they don’t read this blog so fuck them!

Do I seem in a foul mood? If so, here’s why: My faithful 4th Generation iPod died on me back at the beginning of August. I’d had it since Summer of 2004 and the poor little baby just couldn’t hold a charge any more. Sure, it would charge, but when you watch your entire battery diminish after just half an hour of use, that battery ain’t working like it’s supposed to. Now I knew that a new iPod was on the horizon. The problem was that it was on the horizon since May 2006. I thought it would be a pretty sweet graduation present. I thought wrong (I got my laptop instead, which was still awesome; thanks, Mom!). And so eventually all the rumors became just that: rumors. Sure, the iPhone came out and there was an argument to be made that it was just a matter of time before Apple made an iPhone without the Phone. But then there was the counter-argument that Apple didn’t want a new iPod cutting into the iPhone sales. That may be a very shitty argument, but it’s what I heard.

But then a couple weeks ago, Apple made an announcement that they would be having a little press conference on September 5th. And all the gadget sites said it would be for new iPods. What specifically, no one knew, but it would be for new iPods.

So I’m checking Engadget’s liveblog about the event.

New ringtones for iPhone. Don’t have an iPhone–don’t care.

New iPod Nano. Looks crappy–don’t care.

New prices for what is now dubbed the “iPod Classic”. The 80GB model is now $250, which is what I paid less than a month ago for the 30GB model. Fuck me.

But Mr. Jobs isn’t done taking a torque wrench to the nipples of my soul. He’s got the “iPod Touch”. Like the iPhone, but thinner. And an iPod. And it has Wifi. And a Safari web-browser. And YouTube. And an iTunes store. And 22 hours audio and 5 hours of video. And if you get near a Starbucks, and that Starbucks happens to be playing a song you like, the option will come up to download that song. Oh wait, that last feature sucks. However, I did learn that Starbucks opens seven stores every day and all of them sell overpriced, crappy-tasting beverages. Thanks, Starbucks.

My only solace is that it costs $299 for the 8GB model and $399 for the 16GB model. If you have videos…that’s not great.

But apparently, if you got an 8GB iPhone, you’re gonna taste defeat as well because they’re slashing the price down to $399 because Steve thinks it will make a great stocking stuffer. And if you’re stockings are made out of gold and your name’s written out in diamonds, then yes, it will make a nice stocking stuffer.

Oh, and still no Beatles catalog. Well, at least my brother will finally be getting a new iPod so good for him.

Tags: stupid, tech //