GoldbergBlog

The massive amount of online support garnered by GOP Presidential Candidate Ron Paul would be impossible without net neutrality which Paul would never support. Paul believes the wonderful and wise hand of the free market and that the less government control, the better. That’s why we don’t need no stinking laws telling ISPs that they’re not allowed to charge you based simply on where you choose to go on the Internet. At least Paul and his supporters share the same level of intelligence.

Tags: brilliant, politics, stupid by Matt
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Just wanted to share these two videos from two of the best sketch comedy groups working today. The first is from Derrick, and their videos are goddamn, freaking hilarious. Here’s one of their latest:

Then there’s The Whitest Kids ‘U Know. They already have their own show on Fuse, a channel I wish I got but since I still have analog cable and can’t even get MSNBC, I doubt Comcast Atlanta is gonna step up any time soon. Thanks be to the Internet, where I my brother can find great videos like the one below (this one in particular made me laugh so hard, I had to pause it because it hurt so much; laughter that causes pain = the best humor):

Tags: brilliant, humor by Matt
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I don’t mind lists. I really don’t. And I understand their popularity. They provide quick information that is both a guide and a possible subject for debate. But I keep finding these movie lists that were created by people that quite possibly never saw a film that was in black & white unless it was in their Cinema Studies 101 class. Silent films probably aren’t even in the equation.

And so lists like these are absolutely almost worthless because A) you’re referencing films we’ve all seen so it’s not like you’re drawing on some expertise and B) it doesn’t encourage anyone to widen their film vocabulary. They’re essentially Bill O’Reilly and Ann Coulter in list-form: draw people in with maddeningly stupid rhetoric and enjoy the infamy. Of course, me linking to the lists gives them what they want, but I felt I had to in order to prove my larger point that lists such as these do no one any favors. If you’re going to make a list of anything, do it to help someone or stimulate meaningful debate or add to a historic record. CHUD’com’s recent “50 Biggest Disappointments” list may seem like it would be an offender, but the points are well argued and it makes for a good history lesson, especially in an age of media saturation where a studio can build enough buzz in order to create a massive disappointment.

The fact that this list of “Greatest Movie Douchebags” has to reach to freaking Titanic in order to find a character to populate it’s ignorant manifest isn’t shocking to find on the Internet. It’s just shameful that high-traffic sites like Digg and GorillaMask would drive traffic to such poorly researched drivel.

And hey, I’ve been guilty of making lists, but I would like to think that I put some honest effort into what I do.

But not all lists suck. Some make for really great articles. This one, on the bestselling crappy videogames is a must-read (it’s always nice to end on a positive note).

Tags: criticism, movies, stupid by Matt
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I watch a lot of TV. More than I should. If I watched less TV, I might go out and have a social life. Then, I could get a girlfriend and we could both watch a lot of TV, thus completing the Circle of Life (or at least, my life).

So when I say that the Television Critics Association (TCA) nominees for best programs couldn’t be more off by nominating Heroes for “Program of the Year”, “Outstanding Achievement in Drama”, and “Outstanding New Program of the Year”, they’re idiots.

Look, I applaud them for giving credit to Friday Night Lights, 30 Rock, Dexter, Ugly Betty, The Daily Show, and pretty much a wholly deserving list of worthy contenders. But you can’t watch Heroes and think it’s a good show. It isn’t. Aside from plagiarizing from material both big and small (and while you can just call it influence or tribute, the show doesn’t have an original idea in its entire first season and doesn’t bother acknowledging its “influences” lest someone discover that the writing staff is creatively bankrupt). A show like Heroes is in no way challenging to its audience and simply stands as an alternative for people who would like Lost if it didn’t waste time building a story and developing characters and confirmed that the writers are making the show up as they go along (the ABC/executive producers’ agreed-upon 2010 end-date confirms that they’re not) while Heroes just lets you know that they’re absolutely making it up as they go along and that’s why you could drive a Mack truck through the show’s plot-holes.

I guess shows like Battlestar Galactica and The Shield, which were unable to merit any nominations, will have to settle for their Peabodies and know that the group of journalists tasked with recognizing the depth and complexity of their shows have instead opted for a show where the writers ask fans to fill in their lazy writing (and I’m not talking about overarching plotlines which are just flat-out stolen, but rather little things that would take ten seconds to explain, such as Hiro’s father waiting in the ancient sword repair shop in the hopes that the samurai sword will need fixing and that Hiro and Ando will go to the yellow pages and pick that store and that he will have to make sure that he arrives before they do so he can have a big reveal; better to make the fans “work for it” rather than filming ten seconds of George Takei following Hiro and Ando).

If you don’t want to recognize obviously great shows, then fine. But don’t honor such an obviously shitty one.

Tags: stupid, television by Matt
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According to Kotaku, Microsoft will be making an announcement at their big Pac-Man tournament tomorrow. I assume it will be one of three things:

1) Price drop on the 360 / the new 65nm chips which will help stop the system from overheating.

2) Pac-Man fathered illegitimate Pac-Children.

3) Something else.

My money is on #3. Actually, this will probably turn out to be disappointing, but I’ve gone XBOX360-crazy lately, most likely from seeing that Halo 3 will rock the world in a way Halo 2 did not. Also, I’m in a gaming drought because other than maybe picking up Odin Sphere, the old systems are dying off but I still love gaming. I don’t own any of the next-gen systems and while I should just tell myself that it’s okay to not buy a new console every four or five years, the gamer in me wants to show off my gamertag like a badge of honor…or shame, depending on your view of videogames.

Update: Pac-Man Championship Edition for XBLA. Boo.

Tags: videogames by Matt
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I’ve had this article sitting on my computer for six months now and as I was being bored by watching Halloween (I understand its virtues, why it’s an important film, and it certainly has its moments, but I don’t find it scary or interesting and I didn’t care for the misogyny) so I thought I would finally code the HTML and upload it. Like my dislike.

Worst 5 Films of 2006

Tags: movies, stupid by Matt
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I’ve added a new link to the side bar: Creed Thoughts, which despite the claims of it existing at “www.creedthoughts.gov.www\creedthoughts”, actually is from my favorite character on NBC’s The Office Creed Bratton.

The most recent taste of brilliance:

“Root beer floats. It does. I’ve tested it.”

Tags: brilliant, humor, television by Matt
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Not a very busy month (sadly) but I’ve already got five screenings lined up for June. I just hope I don’t miss anything too major when I’m in the Bahamas from June 16th to the 22nd. Of course, a more rational person would probably say “Fuck it, I’m in the Bahamas,” but I’d be lying if I said I was bummed that I missed a chance to see Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix early. Of course, lying in the sun and swimming in the ocean helps soothe the pain.

Mr. Brooks
Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End
Severance
Shrek the Third

Tags: movies by Matt
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