GoldbergBlog

Working at Gamestop is pretty dull. When I’m trying not to think about how badly my feet hurt or what I would buy had I the money to pay for it, I’m doing super fun tasks like alphabetizing, which can actually be very zen and calming.

Today was boredom at its finest. Working from about noon till 4, most people were at school or work, finalizing their holiday plans, being of good cheer, and not videogame shopping. Only the occasional and expected question about Wiis and PS3s we didn’t have in stock.

But in between hour long bouts of severe boredom, unexpectedly humorous moments arose. Moments I will share with you now:

1) A customer approached me and gave me the quote of the day: “You look like a man.” This was his introduction. I simply responded “thank you” since “man” is a much better descriptor than “social-reject” or “serial rapist”. He then proceeded to ask me questions about games that had nothing to do with my manliness.

2) I got into a religious debate with a torso. A man with no legs riding a motorized scooter approached me. He was looking for a copy of NBA 2K6 for a good price. However, aside from noticing the no legs thing (read the disclaimer people; and yeah, like you’re just absolutely blind to physical disabilities), I also noticed that his scooter had big shiny sticker on the front which read “Jesus Is Lord”. As I was trying to help him find the game, he made some comment about Jesus, I grinned like an idiot (because I am an idiot and so when I grin, the idiot function should go without saying), and he inquired about my religion and the only way I could stop this downhill slide about arguing religion with a man who probably needs it more than most, was to simply say “So do you still want NBA 2K6?” I’m not averse to a religious debate, but I’m not anxious to jump in against the handicapped and during work hours.

3) A guy wanted to find a copy of Robotech so he could draw the cover. When I found him a copy, he hugged me. I’ve helped parents find games for their kids; I’ve explained systems six ways till Sunday, but finding a $4.99 copy of Robotech got me a hug.

Unfortunately, this was not the end of our time together as he wanted me to find him a third-person shooter. I recommended James Bond: Everything or Nothing since it also had the two-player functionality he wanted, but because we only had it used and our used copies lacked pictures, he didn’t want it. We then went through a problematic series of his shifting desires. Did he want a fighting game? An RPG? How much? I also had to correctly teach him the pronunciation of Xenosaga 800 times.

Him: X-n-O-gears?
Me: No, Zee-no-sa-ga.
Him: X-n-O-gears?
Me: No, Zee-no-sa-ga.
Him: X-n-O-gears?
Me: No, Zee-no-sa-ga.
Him: X-n-O-gears?
Me: No, Zee-no-sa-ga.
Him: X-n-O-gears?
Me: [brain implodes]

Call it dyslexia. Call it a learning disability. I call it a preview of hell which is apparently where I’m going since I’m Jewish and don’t believe that Jesus died for my sins (which, BTW, I never asked him to do).

So that was my fun day. Thankfully, tomorrow I get to look forward to a free screening of Eragon with my friend Cait and then I can expect my mother to emotionally berate me about why I don’t have a full-time job.

Tags: humor, videogames //