GoldbergBlog

The videos may be on a brief hiatus (new one on September 1st - promise!), but I haven’t been diddling myself and ignoring the site. I’ve been diddling myself and improving the site! Blogger is running the site nice and smooth and I’ve been out trying to spread the good word of distraction. Of course to do that, the first stop is…

I’m currently ranked 1,500,715 which is great because if I was 1,500,716, I would feel like a LOSER. So favorite this blog, tell your friends about it, threaten them with violence and call them a homo if they don’t visit this site. They say you win more flies with honey than vinegar, but I say FUCK FLIES.

Next up, there’s MySpace, which I has gone up in my estimation from “Bane Of My Existence” to “Necessary Evil”. Right now I only have 17 friends and I’ll tell you why: Because I don’t accept friend requests from friend-whores. If you have thousands upon thousands of friends, you’re not popular. You’re just a FRIEND-WHORE. If I put you on the list of my friends, it’s because either A) I want to be able to contact you; B) I value your product (like CHUD.com or It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia); and/or C) I need your sweet, precious organs.

If I ran MySpace, there would be distinctions. There would be “Friends”, “Acquaintances”, “Companies”, and “Arch-Enemies” (regular enemies would be listed under “Acquaintances”).

Oh, and Tom? You’re not my friend and it’s pretty fucking presumptuous of you to think that just because I signed up for your service, I would want you as a friend. My friends aren’t presumptuous. I’m filing you under “Acquaintances”. You’re not good enough for the “Arch-Enemies”. Maybe as MySpace grows and you get closer to world domination, but not yet.

Anyway, if you want to be my friend, just write a few sentences saying why. And when you write, I do care about basic grammer and spelling. You can probably slip a couple spelling errors by me, but I don’t have time for people that don’t have time to write out the word “you”.

I did a brief stint in college and thus wound up on Facebook. I actually like Facebook because it lets me look at all the people who were mean to me in middle and elementary school and then point out their shortcomings. Oh, and it helps me stay in touch with friends and all that crap. It also doesn’t molest your eyes with terrible page layouts and fifteen-billion ads like MySpace.

1UP.com is one of the few good gaming sites left. Back when I was a lad (read: no more than eight years ago), there was a holy trinity of gaming sites: Gamespot, IGN, and TheGIA. But then Gamespot and IGN became subscriber-based and TheGIA became non-existent. But 1UP is the goods. Solid writing, great interface, no subscriber bullshit, and great personal pages. You can check mine out here. The reason for only one friend? See above.

Digg.com is a site I love and apparently other people love as well since the “Digg Effect” has a nasty habit of overwhelming sites that manage to hit the main page. Still, about 60-70% of sites listed withstand the effect and it’s just great place to find cool sites, especially if you’re a gearhead (or a wannabe-gearhead like me; i.e. someone who loves cool gadgets but can’t afford the Sharper Image’s proverbial pot to piss in). But it’s full of great stuff. As I write this, there’s a story about how to improve blog traffic. Serendipity!

When you spend as much time on the net as I do (meaning entirely too much), you need to find new sites. But where? The internet is a fairly large place (or so I’m told). Well, that’s where StumbleUpon comes in. If you haven’t found a way to completely kill your productivity at work, StumbleUpon is overkill. Just click “Stumble!” and find your new favorite site. Click the “I like it!” button and save it for later (which is good if you’re not sure you want to add it to your favorites or just check it out for later). The link above is some of the awesome stuff I’ve StumbledUpon thus far.

That’s all I’ll subject you to for now. Tell your friends about this blog. Explain to them that it is AWESOME. When they ask for examples, make something up.

Tags: Internet, brilliant //